Needing nothing, attracts everything.

I_m beginning to think of myself in the same way I do my home. If I keep my own supplies, I (2)

So I was scrolling on Instagram the other day, and I came across this post. It said “I realized I attracted everything when I needed nothing”. This spoke so deeply to me, lol I basically shared it with anyone that would listen. That’s a word! I want to have so much within myself that I won’t have to look for those traits in other people. I want to become dependent on me. I think a lot of us need so much validation because we don’t validate ourselves. To “need nothing” doesn’t mean that you won’t need friends, or you won’t need help. It just speaks to being content. When you have love for you, you won’t need to go beyond that. The love from others is just a plus, but you won’t lack if that love stops. I believe once we understand true fulfillment and wholeness for ourselves that’s when life will grant “additives”.

I’m beginning to think of myself in the same way I do my home. If I keep my own house equipped, I won’t have to go looking to borrow from a neighbor. If I keep myself equipped.. with love, care, respect, loyalty, etc. then I won’t have to go beyond “my home” to find those things. We all know, when you borrow something, eventually you have to give it back. So when we look for happiness, love, validation, joy, peace, sound minds, compliments in other people or in materials, it’s the same thing. We will have to eventually give that “feel good” back. If that person leaves, or they switch up or if that thing that makes us so happy is destroyed, then what? Stop borrowing. A lot of us have gotten so used to temporary satisfaction that it’s becoming a cycle. It’s okay for people or things to ADD to your happiness, but to make these things the center of your energy may leave you drained and disappointed.

Being “needy” sometimes puts us in a place to accept things we normally wouldn’t. To go back to our homes. If you keep ya pantry packed, what can a neighbor offer you? Having your own puts you in a different head space. When you’re already full you can be picky. When you already got it, you don’t have to accept anything, unless you see a specific space for it. A lot of us accept any and everything because the pantry empty. Take time to restock. Everything that you’re searching for, try finding/creating it within yourself first!

 

 

Walking in purpose

Landon Barbers' Grooming Kit

For a long time I’ve heard people talking about having purpose. One of the first places I remember hearing about living your purpose was in church. I remember praying and asking God, what’s my purpose? I would pray that somehow I would end up on the path that was meant for me. The crazy thing is, fulfilling your purpose isn’t as big of a puzzle of confusion as we think. You just have to pay attention to what gives you drive, pay attention to the things that make you happy. I’ve had so many “decided” paths lol, I just knew I was going to be a lawyer, then I became positive I would be a pharmacist. That was quickly shattered by Bio 160. I’ve majored in dietetics and nutrition. The sad thing is.. I just spent so much time trying to spell nutrition just then, like spell check couldn’t even help me out lol. Anyways, child I even thought about being an engineer. I was so tied up in finding myself that I didn’t pay attention to what I enjoyed all along. When you begin to walk in your purpose it seems like life just comes together like you need it. That doesn’t mean that things won’t be hard sometimes, but for me, all the things and people I needed to get to where I wanted to go was already around me. It’s all so crazy to me. Don’t be fooled, there are actually a lot of people out there who will support you. People you’ve never physically met, all the people you just “know of”. When I started Libheration it was just a leap, I wanted to start when I had everything together and perfect, but a friend said “just start small, start building your community”. I just put forth action and things begin to happen. I’ve been connected to so many amazing, talented people. I’ve always said that this has nothing to do with me. None of my success, ideas, connections, moves are an attest to me. I can’t really take credit, I feel like I’m just a vessel. I know it’s God. You know Chance The Rapper says “blessings keep falling in my lap” that’s the feeling.

Also, in maintaining your purpose, you CAN NOT pay attention to other people. This is something I say ALL the time. Because it’s so vital. You can’t stay focused on your journey if you’re comparing yourself to other people. You have to appreciate and trust your process. You have to find a balance in appreciating where you are and being stagnant .. one of my best friends made this great point. She was like everybody always saying to appreciate where you at, but sometimes where you at is because you not making moves to go to the next level. That was so profound to me, appreciate your journey, but never get complacent.

I said all this to encourage anyone to began that thing you’ve been thinking about for a minute. Just put a little effort into it, make your first jump. It’s so worth it. When you begin to chase the thing that makes you happy, it comes easy. You don’t have to work so hard, because it’s everything that you were made to do. So you’ve already been equipped. Ain’t that amazing? That’s like Sister of the Traveling Handz, I’m starting to believe that each of us were connected to begin something beyond ourselves. We were first brought together by our sorority, Zeta Phi Beta Sorority Incorporated, and then we all used the same hustle we used in working that sorority. A lot of people don’t realize that’s it’s a business, and that honestly doing work for your sorority is work experience. It’s an incorporation. We used those skills, to put work in for ourselves. Now we’re all in places, on bigger platforms, able to make a difference. I realized that having women around you who support is a driving force. I want every woman to experience this feeling, you have women to hold you accountable, to connect you to resources, help you, teach you. I want both Libheration and Sisters of the Traveling Handz to grow into that community, and I know it will. Again, take the chance ladies. You will not only do something great for yourself, but you’ll also inspire more people to do the same thing! Go ahead, just take the first step, and before you know it you’ll be full fledged walking in your divine purpose!

What you thinkin’?

 

check

I didn’t realize how many one-sided talks I have with myself. I never paid attention to how I speak to myself, in my head. One day I did. I never knew I was insecure. My whole life I thought insecurity was not liking how you looked, being sad about your physical appearance, I thought it only concerned the outside. So I’ve fooled myself to believe that I’m not insecure, so it wasn’t something I needed to deal with. “You can’t heal what you don’t reveal” at it’s finest. Now I know that insecurity is deeper than that. It’s not being certain. It’s doubtful. It’s not confident. It’s feeling undeserving. It plays out in everything you do.

I remember the first time someone told me I may be insecure. I was in a relationship and I was venting to someone about how I felt being in my relationship, they listened, unbiased. They were able to see both sides. He looked at me, and said Jas, I think you’re insecure. I was like WHAT? Me? Hell naaaahhhhhhh, I love me. I’m okay with how I look. I’m good, ion know you talkin’ bout. Then asked me why I did the things I did? Why did I feel the need to handle certain situations how I did? What was my thought process behind my actions. I still wrote it off and I continued my life. I wasn’t ready to think that struggled with how I viewed myself. I wasn’t ready to take responsibility of my actions. I liked believing that I was reacting according to how I was being treated, and not acting off how I felt about me. Recently I started actually listening to myself though. When I looked in the mirror, I paid attention to my initial thought. I realized how afraid I was to lose people, because of me. I noticed how personal I took everything. I can’t take criticism, not because I think I’m perfect, but because I think I’m so flawed. I realized that sometimes I push people away because I psych myself to believe I don’t deserve them. I don’t think I deserve amazing things. I’ve checked my thinking, I see how my mind works. I see that sometimes I’m self-sabotaging. All of my bad thoughts manifest into bad habits. I’m only operating at the capacity that I’ve made myself believe I can.

Now that I’m aware of these self inflicted wounds, I’m changing my own narrative. I’m beginning to believe that I am more than enough. I’m working towards security. I am who I am, and that may not be enough for everyone I encounter, and that’s okay, but the goal is to be enough for me. Reconstructing your thinking can be hard, I mean you’re basically changing who you’ve been for years. But just because you think it, doesn’t mean it’s truth. You’ve MADE what you think your reality. The same power we have to tear ourselves down and convince ourselves we’re not as good enough, is the same power we have to convince ourselves otherwise. I know now that I’ve used my power to be what I want the wrong way. I’ve used it negatively. I’ve used my mind to manifest insecurity. Now I know that my mind is the one in control, I think it, and I act accordingly. So it all starts there, my thoughts.

I want you to start paying attention to what you think about yourself. Journal Prompt: What do you think about you? Take an entire day to listen to your thoughts, write down specific negative thoughts, and then journal about your observation. Replace your negative with positive thoughts. Use your negative ideas about yourself to make a list of affirmations. I struggle with insecurity, so I speak confidence. I speak being deserving and being powerful. Have you noticed that when you say to yourself, I’m going to have a good day, you actually do? Have you also noticed that when you say, today’s not going to be good, it actually is a sucky day? It’s because what we tell ourselves is how we’re going to perceive everything. When you have negative thoughts, you’re going to have negative perceptions, which will only confirm what you thought in the first place. In psychology they call this confirmation bias. This is real. We have to be mindful of how we think ladies. Check yaself before you wreck yaself. Take time for you sis! You’ll appreciate it.

Why did I start Libheration?

This is the excerpt for your very first post.

One day I decided that my journey was just that, my own. I found my own libheration. I felt free and I wanted this for other women.

So lately I’ve been getting asked what made me start Libheration? People are wondering where did the concept come from? It’s a nice play on words, it’s creative, it gets the people going. Lol no seriously. The concept started very small, I just wanted to do something for women. I began my own journey of finding myself, and I realized that things are more simple than we believe. I began to pay attention to myself and to my happiness. I felt free. I only began to feel free when I started to live only for myself. I stopped watching what everybody else was doing, and focused on myself. I realized that comparison is TOXIC. For a long time I struggled with where I was in life. I was still in undergrad, for the SIXTH year. I hated school. I hated my job. I hated where I lived. I pushed away the people who care about me the most. It wasn’t intentional, it was just a manifestation of how I felt inside. I thought I was moving too slow, I saw friends making major moves. I saw everyone I started with get into medical school, law school, land dream jobs, get engaged, living the life. Per my perception.

One day I decided that my journey was just that, my own. I found my own libheration. I felt free and I wanted this for other women. I’ve always enjoyed marketing/branding so I decided to do for myself what I had been doing for other people for years. I wanted my brand to represent sheer freedom. Liberate immediately came to mind. I thought synonyms of free. It was freedom. & it was for women. BOOM Libheration was birthed, and let’s not get it twisted, I never started this as a declaration of my perfection. This is just an expression of my own truth and I hope that in turn other women realize that their truth is fine too. It’s okay to be where you are, as long as you’re striving on your own terms to be better. Better for you won’t look like what better for me looks like. We are all unique, so our journeys will be too. I wanted Libheration to be a genuine community of black women pushing and supporting each other. I wanted testimonies that could free other women, and that’s what it became. I’ve gotten so much support from the very beginning. I am excited about continuing this journey. The goal is to help other women on the way.