Withholding Nothing

 

So on Monday I posted “We’re all gatekeepers of some form of information”, this wasn’t from me. My good friend Robert was basically taking me and his girlfriend Alexis, through this conference that he was able to attend. It was a very eye opening experience for him and he felt the need to practice his gatekeeper duties by passing along information he had access to. Listening to him speak about all of us having information that is valuable to SOMEONE really struck me. He said that we are never useless, we always have opportunities to be some kind of resource to someone else. He asked the question, “Are you projecting powerlessness?” are you projecting powerlessness by not owning up to your skills and what you have to provide to people that need it? That need you. This talk changed my entire perspective on my personal journey. I realized that my journey is literally something that needs to be shared. I am a gatekeeper to a lot of things, even if it feels small to me.

Fast forward to today, Thursday. I posted my #DearBlackGirl and it’s pretty much in the same vein of being a resource and understanding that it’s a tool of uplift and empowerment. I now view my reason to explore new things, learn new things, create new things not only as a means to benefit me. But honestly I want to do all these things so I have the knowledge and capacity to put other people on. I feel like we’ve been tricked into believing that knowledge can’t be a privilege, and that there isn’t enough resources, audience, etc. for every single one of us to flourish. Of course I want a seat at the table, but I’m trying to get to the table just so I can pass some plates back, some forks, a napkin, you good sis? I believe once we take on this mentality we’ll be unstoppable. YOUR GIFT, YOUR TALENT IS NOT JUST SOLELY FOR YOUR BENEFIT! Your greatness lies directly in your impact. We need YOU. You have something to offer that can advance many, and then they can advance more and then it’s like a domino effect. You can start a fire that many need.

I just want you to first realize that YOU ARE SPECIAL. Yes you are unique! That’s something I’m having to realize about myself as well. Man, regardless of how normal people will try to make you feel, how they will try to dim your light, it’s a trick. Some people even want you to believe that understanding how different you are is a cliche. But it’s not. That’s the first step. Walk into your dopeness, let’s just own up to it. We lit. There, it’s said. Let’s make conscious efforts to recognize our own raw beauty and share our knowledge with anyone looking to elevate themselves. It’s your duty to. No point in being full and the people around you hungry. We all gone eat! You won’t ever have to force your knowledge/journey, the ones that truly need to be filled will reveal themselves to you. They’ll be open to what you have to offer. Find your #Libheration and it’ll bleed into your tribes and beyond.

Perception. “What you got to lose?”

I heard one of my professors say one time, “Perception is reality”. That stuck with me. But it was in a different context for me then. I understood it based on how people view each other. What we perceive is actually reality for us, if we don’t take time to thoroughly understand. What we think is our reality. That fact can either effect us positively or negatively.

Perception is strength for me. I pride myself in how I view things. Right now I’m in a very transitional place in my life. If I had perceived the things that were going on around me as negative things, it would’ve been so easy to get stuck in a funk instead of finding the positivity in all things and moving forward on my journey.

So recently I lost my job. It was basically politics, it was super unexpected. Where I worked was where I lived. It was a complete uproot. I was so shaken at first, no lie. I’ve had relationship dynamics to COMPLETELY change. My life was changing so fast, I didn’t feel ready AT ALL. I thought I was stable, I was good, and everything just up and changed. In that change I was able to see that life was just pushing me to move. There was no denying it. I had to move my feet. Sometimes being in Oxford, MS felt so lonely. The post graduate life is TOUGH, and post graduate depression IS REAL, sometimes you feel like your life just isn’t spanning out how you had so perfectly planned. But that’s a completely different post for a different day. But I felt like Oxford was the perfect place to stack some money, make a few moves, for the time it was right for me. I had great benefits working there, and the money was good. It was always tactical for me. It was economical. I didn’t realize I got complacent though. I was still growing as an individual, but I got caught up in the day to day, in the routine and lost sight of all the other things I want to do.

I got BIG dreams. I got BIG ideas. And true enough Oxford was a good move for me, but TEMPORARILY. Of course. I realized that being uprooted only gave me room to sew new seeds. The draw back from people felt bad for a second, but I realized I needed that to get to my next level. I didn’t let the HOW or why it ended shake me. Yeah, it hurt but I saw the glory behind it. The HOW didn’t matter, because it just had to happen. I had to get to a place where I had no other choice BUT to choose me. There was nothing to consider, there was nothing keeping me where I was anymore. I also had to realize that God doesn’t only move for me. I had to realize that that separation may have been necessary for the other person too. We’re in a very critical point in our lives. This is the time for us to genuinely get to know ourselves, and choose ourselves, and blossom into who we’re meant to be. The time to find our passions, our purpose. Places, people, situations, jobs can sometimes deter that progression.

I began to feel thankful for the universe doing the things for me I didn’t have the strength to, or even the understanding to know to do. I realized my growth when I could just walk away with no hard feelings, no bickering, no sadness, no regret and with real understanding of what was happening for me. I was very attentive of my perception.

Okay so fast forward, so many things started to happen. I felt lighter, I felt excited about whatever was to come. I wasn’t sure what is was, but the feeling of newness was overwhelming. My aunt said the same thing to me after I told her everything that was going on, she felt excited for what was next.

I had two friends to come down and visit from Austin, TX. In the middle of this beautiful chaos they offered me an opportunity to go back to Texas with them, to get a feel of the city and check out career opportunities. They were ACTIVELY trying to get me to just go for it. Why not? At first I was eeeahhhhhuuuhhh, ion know bout all that. They ended up convincing me, asking “What you got to lose?” and literally in the next few hours I was well on my way. It was like everything happened just when it needed to. It all just kind of fell in my lap. I landed an interview for the very next day after arriving. I got another one coming up next week. My energy is at an all time high. I feel good. I don’t know for sure how anything will work out, but I just know IT WILL work out. My Auntie DeeDee told me, “Girl, when things line up like this, it ain’t just a coincidence.” So here I am, taking a leap.

The more I begin to think about perception the more clarity I got on how it was important to keep it in check. Think about if you only saw the bad in things. Honestly. Think about how long it would take to heal if we stayed in victimizing ourselves. Imagine all the hurt and pain you would harvest. Think about the opportunities you would miss. The chances to enjoy your next level.

I know that when God removes us from something it’s not punishment. It’s just understanding that sometimes we don’t even have the slightest idea of what’s good for us. Or what we want. Sometimes it just don’t agree with the bigger picture. So for anyone who is out there tripping over things they’ve felt like they’ve lost. You didn’t lose. You’ve just been reset. Set back on your path. Once you find a way to will yourself to know that even in the bad, there is good. You’ll never fail. You’ll never be shaken.

Also understand this, keeping your perception in check isn’t being in denial about your emotions. You still need to understand how you feel, and it’s okay to succumb to your emotions. If you need to cry, sis do that. But that’s not something that we can SIT IN. Don’t deny yourself of dealing with it. But let’s always know that everything is intentional and in your best interest. Keep ya perception in check. Keep living. We still #Glowin&Growin. Never be ashamed of your story, of your process. It’s just that, yours. In all it’s glory. There’s Libheration in your truth.

#MoneyMonday- @ThinkandGrowChick Podcast “5 Money Mindset Shifts to Help You Step Your Financial Game Up”

Mindset reset is the GOAL for this year okay? So every Monday I’m going to blog about money tips that I pick up from books, podcasts, my personal experience, wherever. Disseminating information is key. Each one, teach one. We all glowing and growing!

So I came across this amazing podcast by Ms. Courtney Sanders, Think and Grow Chick. Please be sure to follow her on SoundCloud! (IG: @ThinkNGrowChick) This particular podcast “5 Money Mindset Shifts to Help You Step Up Your Financial Game Up” is filled with gems. Courtney recommends books to read, entrepreneurs to follow and study and of course bomb advice on how to boss up ya finances. Give it a listen.

I’m going to give a short summary of the podcast and how the advice really resonated with me. Her experiences were so relatable, it was like I was listening to bits and pieces of my own life. It gave me hope. It made me realize that I can change, and I’m on the right path to do so. Let’s get to it!

Mindset Shift #1: Understand that you don’t have to honor every wish and want. For me this rule speaks directly to impulse buying. See, impulse buying is so bad for me because I’m an avid online shopper. I get the 50% OFF THE ENTIRE SITE, GET IT NOW type emails, I find myself clicking and then I’m buying. Ridiculous right? It’s not THAT bad, but I do impulse buy and I realize that’s a habit I need to change.

Courtney advises that we should prioritize what we want MOST over what we want in the moment. She gave the idea of creating a Wish List. Instead of just buying the things we want, add them to a wish list first. This will give you the chance to visualize your priorities and place your money in things that will actually benefit you. Money is a tool, a resource.

Mindset Shift #2: Demand and command what you are worth financially. This is for every woman. Not just the career woman seeking salary, but also the business woman selling a product or service. Never sell yourself short and know what you’re worth. This is important because if we sell ourselves short of what we’re worth we’ll be concerned about money. We’ll feel the need to find it, chase it because we aren’t being compensated as we should in the very beginning.

Mindset Shift #3: Saving is good! BUT. Make sure that some of the money saved is being invested. Make your money work FOR you. To go back to money being a resource. It’s important that we use our money as a means to create more money. We need to invest. Whether we invest in ourselves, our businesses, or in stocks and bonds. Courtney quotes a line from the book The Secrets of A Millionaire Mind that left an imprint on my mind. “Poor people see a dollar as a dollar to trade for something they want right now, where rich people see every dollar as a seed that can be planted to earn a 100 more dollars which can then be replanted to earn 100 more.”

I haven’t quite gotten investing down, I’m only saving but I am acquiring knowledge to learn how to make my money flip.

Mindset Shift #4: Recognize and undo the limiting beliefs you have about money. This is an overlapping lesson for me. In the book You Are a BadAss Jen Sincero talks about how our subconscious is the reason behind a lot of our actions, even if we can’t recognize them. This mindset shift speaks to that same message. If we believe that a certain amount of money is too much, or can’t be obtained. We’ll continue to have our actions align with those same beliefs. In order to BE rich, we have to THINK rich. We can’t be governed by fear or greed. It’s time to undo how we think about money.

Mindset Shift #5: Realize that wealth and financial freedom is a behavior more than it is a bank account. THIS! Okay so this part of the podcast I felt was just for me, all the way down to the example Courtney gave! Our habits define our outcomes. The example she gave is how good students aren’t defined only by the good grades they get. They’re good students because they go to class, study regularly, meet with teachers, etc. We have to have the same outlook about our finances. Being rich isn’t just about the amount of money you have, it’s about the habits and behavior that allows us to be rich. “Your bank account will be an outward manifestation of who you are as a person and what your mindset is, so if you want to be a wealthy person it’s important that you focus on developing wealthy behaviors, or financial freedom behaviors”.

Affirmations: I am financially wealthy. I am financially free. 

Things to do:
Find out your problem area.
How are you spending most of your discretionary income (income remaining after deduction of taxes, other mandatory charges, and expenditure on necessary items) Food? Clothes? Shoes?
Make a feasible budget. Your budget has to to do-able, don’t make a budget that cuts so much that you’re unhappy and lacking.
Make a wish list to help prioritize your spending

Journal Prompt
Understand your feelings ABOUT money. Write down the first words that come to mind when you think about the word money. Think about what your idea of A LOT of money is? Is it obtainable? This will start the process of understanding some of your subconscious thoughts about money and what mindset blocks to change. When I did this one of my first thoughts was “hard to get”. That’s not really a positive outlook and it could be affecting HOW I behave about money.

I hope you enjoyed this blog. Like, comment and share! #MoneyMoves

 

Starting a morning routine. Eliminating excuses.

Background: Les be honest. Mornings are THE WORST for me. I have to be at work everyday at 8:30 AM, I normally roll out of bed around 8:10, 8:15. YIKES right? I will hold on to my bed with every piece of strength I own. I’m sure my snooze button hates me, lol. I’ve always had this issue. This cold weather ain’t making this no betta.

One of my goals for this year is to get up earlier, get a morning routine going. I don’t want to roll out of bed, starting my day off sluggish. I want to work out, drink tea & have breakfast. For now. I hope to eventually have enough time to even read or blog every morning.

Yesterday morning my alarm went off, I was having the same battle. I ended up just convincing myself, “I don’t have anything to DO anyway” I failed, but I took something away from that failure. It made me realize that I had to eliminate my “way out”. So last night before I got in the bed I made a plan. I wrote down what I wanted to get done when I got up the next morning. I made a goal, so there was something to work towards. I eliminated my excuse of not having anything to do after getting up early.

This morning my alarm goes off.  Of course. I hit SNOOOOOOZZEEE. Twice. I didn’t get up until a little before seven, but I was up and at the gym by 7:15!!! I’m extremely proud of myself. I set a goal, and I achieved it. I didn’t get up as early as I wanted, but I did better than yesterday. That’s what matters right? I’m finding the value in to do lists. Checking things off can be so satisfying and it keeps you well aware of the things you need to accomplish. 1 day in, forever to go though, ya’ll pray for me.

2018: Growth & Manifestation.

2018_ The Year of Growth & Manifestation

First off, Happy New Year! I’ve taken the first few days of 2018 to really reflect on 2017, to make sure 2018 really pop. 2017 made me realize a lot about myself, 2017 was a complete year of lessons. It was the year that I became more open minded to who I am, more honest about me.

Lessons/Realizations of 2017:

There is no one like me. I have a divine purpose and path.

Sometimes, it’s me. I have toxic tendencies and I’m not perfect. 

I can’t claim I’m going to be wealthy, with no knowledge on HOW to be wealthy.

Procrastination will ruin me. 

I can overcome ANYTHING

Life works FOR me and not TO me.

My physical environment is a manifestation of my psychological one. 

  • If my room/space is cluttered, my mind is too
  • What I think is what/how I create

I have to change how I think to change my life

All the thoughts, good and bad, I internalize. Be mindful of my thoughts.

Balance.

Share my story. Never be ashamed of my experiences. What I go through, someone may be able to relate and pull through too. 

The list could literally go on forever.

Since 2017 was the year of realization. I’m making 2018 the year of manifest. This is year I WILL change. I’m growing and glowing up all year. It’s my road to riches. Rich in love, rich in knowledge, health and wealth.

I usually hate resolutions. It feels so cliche. Despite all of that, I wrote down my goals anyway. I realized resolutions only feel cliche if they’re short lived and unfulfilled year after year.

Capture

I’ve broken my goals down from what they are, to how I’m going to achieve them. I’m in the process of actually planning my process and what it looks month by month, weekly and even down to daily habits. Keep a look out for more blogs with more details! This year will be the year of me, come along for the ride.

 

Needing nothing, attracts everything.

I_m beginning to think of myself in the same way I do my home. If I keep my own supplies, I (2)

So I was scrolling on Instagram the other day, and I came across this post. It said “I realized I attracted everything when I needed nothing”. This spoke so deeply to me, lol I basically shared it with anyone that would listen. That’s a word! I want to have so much within myself that I won’t have to look for those traits in other people. I want to become dependent on me. I think a lot of us need so much validation because we don’t validate ourselves. To “need nothing” doesn’t mean that you won’t need friends, or you won’t need help. It just speaks to being content. When you have love for you, you won’t need to go beyond that. The love from others is just a plus, but you won’t lack if that love stops. I believe once we understand true fulfillment and wholeness for ourselves that’s when life will grant “additives”.

I’m beginning to think of myself in the same way I do my home. If I keep my own house equipped, I won’t have to go looking to borrow from a neighbor. If I keep myself equipped.. with love, care, respect, loyalty, etc. then I won’t have to go beyond “my home” to find those things. We all know, when you borrow something, eventually you have to give it back. So when we look for happiness, love, validation, joy, peace, sound minds, compliments in other people or in materials, it’s the same thing. We will have to eventually give that “feel good” back. If that person leaves, or they switch up or if that thing that makes us so happy is destroyed, then what? Stop borrowing. A lot of us have gotten so used to temporary satisfaction that it’s becoming a cycle. It’s okay for people or things to ADD to your happiness, but to make these things the center of your energy may leave you drained and disappointed.

Being “needy” sometimes puts us in a place to accept things we normally wouldn’t. To go back to our homes. If you keep ya pantry packed, what can a neighbor offer you? Having your own puts you in a different head space. When you’re already full you can be picky. When you already got it, you don’t have to accept anything, unless you see a specific space for it. A lot of us accept any and everything because the pantry empty. Take time to restock. Everything that you’re searching for, try finding/creating it within yourself first!

 

 

Walking in purpose

Landon Barbers' Grooming Kit

For a long time I’ve heard people talking about having purpose. One of the first places I remember hearing about living your purpose was in church. I remember praying and asking God, what’s my purpose? I would pray that somehow I would end up on the path that was meant for me. The crazy thing is, fulfilling your purpose isn’t as big of a puzzle of confusion as we think. You just have to pay attention to what gives you drive, pay attention to the things that make you happy. I’ve had so many “decided” paths lol, I just knew I was going to be a lawyer, then I became positive I would be a pharmacist. That was quickly shattered by Bio 160. I’ve majored in dietetics and nutrition. The sad thing is.. I just spent so much time trying to spell nutrition just then, like spell check couldn’t even help me out lol. Anyways, child I even thought about being an engineer. I was so tied up in finding myself that I didn’t pay attention to what I enjoyed all along. When you begin to walk in your purpose it seems like life just comes together like you need it. That doesn’t mean that things won’t be hard sometimes, but for me, all the things and people I needed to get to where I wanted to go was already around me. It’s all so crazy to me. Don’t be fooled, there are actually a lot of people out there who will support you. People you’ve never physically met, all the people you just “know of”. When I started Libheration it was just a leap, I wanted to start when I had everything together and perfect, but a friend said “just start small, start building your community”. I just put forth action and things begin to happen. I’ve been connected to so many amazing, talented people. I’ve always said that this has nothing to do with me. None of my success, ideas, connections, moves are an attest to me. I can’t really take credit, I feel like I’m just a vessel. I know it’s God. You know Chance The Rapper says “blessings keep falling in my lap” that’s the feeling.

Also, in maintaining your purpose, you CAN NOT pay attention to other people. This is something I say ALL the time. Because it’s so vital. You can’t stay focused on your journey if you’re comparing yourself to other people. You have to appreciate and trust your process. You have to find a balance in appreciating where you are and being stagnant .. one of my best friends made this great point. She was like everybody always saying to appreciate where you at, but sometimes where you at is because you not making moves to go to the next level. That was so profound to me, appreciate your journey, but never get complacent.

I said all this to encourage anyone to began that thing you’ve been thinking about for a minute. Just put a little effort into it, make your first jump. It’s so worth it. When you begin to chase the thing that makes you happy, it comes easy. You don’t have to work so hard, because it’s everything that you were made to do. So you’ve already been equipped. Ain’t that amazing? That’s like Sister of the Traveling Handz, I’m starting to believe that each of us were connected to begin something beyond ourselves. We were first brought together by our sorority, Zeta Phi Beta Sorority Incorporated, and then we all used the same hustle we used in working that sorority. A lot of people don’t realize that’s it’s a business, and that honestly doing work for your sorority is work experience. It’s an incorporation. We used those skills, to put work in for ourselves. Now we’re all in places, on bigger platforms, able to make a difference. I realized that having women around you who support is a driving force. I want every woman to experience this feeling, you have women to hold you accountable, to connect you to resources, help you, teach you. I want both Libheration and Sisters of the Traveling Handz to grow into that community, and I know it will. Again, take the chance ladies. You will not only do something great for yourself, but you’ll also inspire more people to do the same thing! Go ahead, just take the first step, and before you know it you’ll be full fledged walking in your divine purpose!