I heard one of my professors say one time, “Perception is reality”. That stuck with me. But it was in a different context for me then. I understood it based on how people view each other. What we perceive is actually reality for us, if we don’t take time to thoroughly understand. What we think is our reality. That fact can either effect us positively or negatively.
Perception is strength for me. I pride myself in how I view things. Right now I’m in a very transitional place in my life. If I had perceived the things that were going on around me as negative things, it would’ve been so easy to get stuck in a funk instead of finding the positivity in all things and moving forward on my journey.
So recently I lost my job. It was basically politics, it was super unexpected. Where I worked was where I lived. It was a complete uproot. I was so shaken at first, no lie. I’ve had relationship dynamics to COMPLETELY change. My life was changing so fast, I didn’t feel ready AT ALL. I thought I was stable, I was good, and everything just up and changed. In that change I was able to see that life was just pushing me to move. There was no denying it. I had to move my feet. Sometimes being in Oxford, MS felt so lonely. The post graduate life is TOUGH, and post graduate depression IS REAL, sometimes you feel like your life just isn’t spanning out how you had so perfectly planned. But that’s a completely different post for a different day. But I felt like Oxford was the perfect place to stack some money, make a few moves, for the time it was right for me. I had great benefits working there, and the money was good. It was always tactical for me. It was economical. I didn’t realize I got complacent though. I was still growing as an individual, but I got caught up in the day to day, in the routine and lost sight of all the other things I want to do.
I got BIG dreams. I got BIG ideas. And true enough Oxford was a good move for me, but TEMPORARILY. Of course. I realized that being uprooted only gave me room to sew new seeds. The draw back from people felt bad for a second, but I realized I needed that to get to my next level. I didn’t let the HOW or why it ended shake me. Yeah, it hurt but I saw the glory behind it. The HOW didn’t matter, because it just had to happen. I had to get to a place where I had no other choice BUT to choose me. There was nothing to consider, there was nothing keeping me where I was anymore. I also had to realize that God doesn’t only move for me. I had to realize that that separation may have been necessary for the other person too. We’re in a very critical point in our lives. This is the time for us to genuinely get to know ourselves, and choose ourselves, and blossom into who we’re meant to be. The time to find our passions, our purpose. Places, people, situations, jobs can sometimes deter that progression.
I began to feel thankful for the universe doing the things for me I didn’t have the strength to, or even the understanding to know to do. I realized my growth when I could just walk away with no hard feelings, no bickering, no sadness, no regret and with real understanding of what was happening for me. I was very attentive of my perception.
Okay so fast forward, so many things started to happen. I felt lighter, I felt excited about whatever was to come. I wasn’t sure what is was, but the feeling of newness was overwhelming. My aunt said the same thing to me after I told her everything that was going on, she felt excited for what was next.
I had two friends to come down and visit from Austin, TX. In the middle of this beautiful chaos they offered me an opportunity to go back to Texas with them, to get a feel of the city and check out career opportunities. They were ACTIVELY trying to get me to just go for it. Why not? At first I was eeeahhhhhuuuhhh, ion know bout all that. They ended up convincing me, asking “What you got to lose?” and literally in the next few hours I was well on my way. It was like everything happened just when it needed to. It all just kind of fell in my lap. I landed an interview for the very next day after arriving. I got another one coming up next week. My energy is at an all time high. I feel good. I don’t know for sure how anything will work out, but I just know IT WILL work out. My Auntie DeeDee told me, “Girl, when things line up like this, it ain’t just a coincidence.” So here I am, taking a leap.
The more I begin to think about perception the more clarity I got on how it was important to keep it in check. Think about if you only saw the bad in things. Honestly. Think about how long it would take to heal if we stayed in victimizing ourselves. Imagine all the hurt and pain you would harvest. Think about the opportunities you would miss. The chances to enjoy your next level.
I know that when God removes us from something it’s not punishment. It’s just understanding that sometimes we don’t even have the slightest idea of what’s good for us. Or what we want. Sometimes it just don’t agree with the bigger picture. So for anyone who is out there tripping over things they’ve felt like they’ve lost. You didn’t lose. You’ve just been reset. Set back on your path. Once you find a way to will yourself to know that even in the bad, there is good. You’ll never fail. You’ll never be shaken.
Also understand this, keeping your perception in check isn’t being in denial about your emotions. You still need to understand how you feel, and it’s okay to succumb to your emotions. If you need to cry, sis do that. But that’s not something that we can SIT IN. Don’t deny yourself of dealing with it. But let’s always know that everything is intentional and in your best interest. Keep ya perception in check. Keep living. We still #Glowin&Growin. Never be ashamed of your story, of your process. It’s just that, yours. In all it’s glory. There’s Libheration in your truth.